Be In The Moment. Why Is It So Much Harder Than It Sounds?
Be in the moment. Live in the moment. These are probably most overused suggestions one comes across when feeling anxious or worried. If living in the moment is all that it needs to take control of one’s life and be happy why are we still living in a world that is full of depression, worry and anxiety?
May be enough people have not heard these suggestions? What if Google, Facebook and other popular websites replaced their tagline to “Be in the moment. Now.” so everyone who visit these sites would be filled with instantaneous bliss. I doubt it. Let me explain why.
At any given moment our mind is busy with many stimuli — internal and external. When we are having a conversation — the words we are hearing is one out of the several activities demanding our attention. There can be other cravings competing for our attention.
May be we are getting late. So there is the stress of ending the conversation without sounding rude. May the what the other person is saying does not interest us. So now we have to deal with the boredom. May be we are finding the person attractive. So now there is that feeling in the mix. May be we are hungry. May be we have an itch. The list can go on.
So which moment shall we focus on? We are told it is disrespectful to not pay attention when someone is talking. But no one told us what to do when someone is talking incessantly and one has to pee badly!
Let’s examine another example when staying in the moment can be difficult. Say, you are waiting for train. It is a beautiful early spring day. Birds are chirping. Trees have started to bloom. There is a light fragrance in the air. You are comfortably sitting on bench. But you do not notice anything about the day. Your thoughts are going full throttle about the meeting you feel ill prepared for. If someone asked you to be in the moment you might feel as if you have been asked to do pushups with a cat clawing on your back.
So if staying in the moment is not easy then why it is preached to be a panacea of all cognitive disorders.
I think the problem begins with the way a moment is defined, “an external event happening outside of mind and body”. It can be a task one is trying to accomplish or a conversation one is carrying. However the information that is coming from out there is still being processed in here, inside our brain. A fraction of procession power of our mind is dedicated to process incoming data. But at the same time (in the same moment) a lot more processing power of the brain is allocated to make sense of what is happening — Is it fun? Is it worth it? Is it a threat? Is it safe? Is it easy? Is it hard?
Why are these thoughts not considered to be the moment? Why do we value what someone is saying more that what we feel about that?
The common definition of “be in the moment” is not holistic. It is incomplete. It ignores the observer of the moment by creating a border between observer and observed where none exist.
This definition of moment can make one judge oneself (as used to happen to me) when one gets lost in one’s thoughts and feelings. It is also moralistic as it assigns more value it what is coming into one’s consciousness and not so much the consciousness itself.
And lastly it is confusing.
positivelypsychology.com states that being in the moment is about being “here and now”, and one is not distracted by ruminations and worries.
But aren’t ruminations and worries also happening in here and now?
Over the years what I have realized is that it is more important to allow the moment instead of giving definition to what it means to be in the moment. By allowing the moment, we are aware of whatever is in our consciousness and we don’t hold on to it. We let it pass and let the moment transform.
Not that it is going to be easy. But it is going to be worthwhile.
Real here and now is not what is coming into our consciousness but the consciousness Itself.
By not confining our consciousness to its contents, we allow it to expand. And that expansion leads to new insights, understanding, and growth.
Over the years, as I have stopped stressing about with what I am receiving from my senses and also pay attention to how I am feeling about the reception, my life has become lighter.
In ways I don’t fully comprehend I feel more in control of the moment when I am not trying to control the moment.
Just like all things in life, what it means to be in the moment is a matter of perspective. And after many years of trial and error, I chose a perspective that is inclusive and expansive, instead of exclusive and static.
And I hope you do too.